Day # 31



One of the hardest things to do is to forgive those who have hurt you.  

To offer forgiveness to our offender means to receive inner healing for ourselves. Forgiveness and healing are intimately related. Here is the connection: the power of offering forgiveness, whether deserved or undeserved, is the power that heals the heart of the one who forgives.

When we choose to forgive, (yes, it is a choice) it releases us from the chains that bind our hearts to pain.  Choosing to forgive opens our heart’s door to inner peace.  Forgiveness can truly soften your heart and create peace within your body, mind, and spirit.

Forgiveness may seem impossible; maybe even inconceivable to those who have suffered at the hands of someone’s abuse, anger, neglect or unjust actions.  That’s completely understandable.  

The only way, in these cases, to forgive is to choose to forgive. You don’t have to feel anything, in fact, most likely you will never feel like forgiving.  What I found works for me is instead of stewing in a pot of toxic emotions, instead I mentally send that person love.  Anytime I think about the painful or stressful situation, I take a deep breath and just realize that we are all doing the best we can at the level of consciousness and awareness that we are at.  We are all making choices and decisions at the level of awareness we are currently at.  I am also grateful that I have the capacity to forgive, heal and move on with my life.  

There is a Hawaiian technique that can truly heal your heart called Ho’Oponopono.  You simply repeat four powerful phrases:

  1. I’m sorry.

  2. Please forgive me.

  3. Thank you.

  4. I love you.

Sit in a quiet place and imagine the person who you have hurt or has hurt you.  Just repeat these four phrases for three to five minutes.  If your mind starts to drift onto the situation, your to-do list, or anything else, just gently guide it back to the phrases.  What I have noticed when I do this powerful technique, is a sense of acceptance and peace within my body.  My breathing shifts and the level of stress I can feel in my body decreases significantly.  

We all have emotional and mental baggage about certain family members, friends, loved ones and others.  Focusing on that person or event with whom you desire healing while repeating the four phrases can open your heart and soften the feelings and emotions tied to the pain you are experiencing.  This powerful technique is based in the philosophy of taking total responsibility for your actions as well as how you react to others.  When you show up in the world, strong and present, you heal your wounds of the past in the process.  You also set the stage for others to follow your lead.

Ho’Oponono has no room for the ego.  By letting go of who’s right and who’s wrong (the ego), you start to develop a deeper connection to yourself while clearing the painful debris of the past.  Let go of the need to be right, let go of feeling victimized, let go of holding onto “your story.”  Forgiveness is a selfish but healthy way of letting go of baggage that is weighing you down emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually.  Let go.  Be free.  Forgive.  This includes forgiving yourself.  That can be the first step for many of us to truly start our internal healing journey.  Remember, you are exactly where you are supposed to be (but don’t have to stay here) and you are doing the best job that you can at the level of awareness that you are at (that can continue to evolve and flourish).

Take a deep breath and repeat….

I am sorry.  Please forgive me.  Thank you.  I love you.



Your wound is probably NOT your fault. But your healing is YOUR responsibility.