JOY /joi/
noun: a feeling of great pleasure and happiness
Why do some people always seem to be in state of inner joy + high vibe living while others constantly struggle w disappointment after disappointment?
I mean, we’ve all been on both sides, right? But how do we find more legit joy? Now I’m not talking about the Tony Robbins fake it till you make it kinda joy. I mean real deal IN YOUR HEART AND BODY JOY!
I can tell you what is the opposite of joy…..going on a diet.
It’s Monday… the dreaded day most people start their diet. Yeah I just used “dreaded day” and “diet” in a sentence with less than 8 words.
Did you know that 45M, that’s 45 MILLION Americans go on a diet every year according to the 2018 Washington Post stats. Yikes. Let’s break down the math shall we? If there are 52 weeks in a year then there is approximately 52 Monday’s a year. Fair enough?
That means that today, it’s possible that over 865,000 peeps in the US started a diet today. Ugh!
ZERO joy.
This past weekend we drove down to St. Augustine Beach to surprise my mother-in-law for her birthday(!) and if I think back to what I ate, I mean enjoyed mindfully without an ounce of guilt it would include: *homemade key lime pie (with real cream cheese and condensed milk),
*a million corn chips with salsa (okay, maybe a million is a stretch)
*brownie bites and chocolate chip meringues from Star Provisions,
*French fries,
*peanut butter and chocolate chip muffin
In the past those choices would have caused me to feel an enormous amount of food guilt and I’d be on the “back to clean eating” bandwagon Monday morning like the other 845,000 Americans who are dieting today. Right now.
No joy.
I know what it feels like to jump from diet to trendy diet. I went DEEP down the clean eating rabbit hole on the path to optimal health. I had good intentions, really good one. But in the long run it caused serious food fear. I would only eat organic and “clean” foods.
And if you can believe this I TOTALLY AVOIDED sugar for 3 years. Pyscho, right? I know. I was soooo into the detox thing. Part of my journey that I share with clients because there is no judgment or shame in my food game.
I went from one end of the food spectrum, totally out of control eating whatever I wanted, to the other side of extreme clean eating. If “detoxing” were a sport, I would’ve been a strong contender for first place. In my defense, I felt amazing the majority of the time. I don’t know if I can adequately explain it, but it was like I was putting the diet puzzle pieces together for ME and my body.
And the biggest personal take away, walking away from my raw, vegan diet days eating a TON of plants is that I discovered how much my body thrived on high fiber veggies and fruits. Everything just works better when I eat a ton of real, whole food with plant-fiber, especially fresh leafy greens. Not the processed fiber from a bottle or container, no my discerning GI system wants the real-deal plant fiber. So I roll with it.
In general, dieting wasn’t sustainable because my food choices were oh so restrictive. Socializing, dining out and family events caused food anxiety. Traveling? That was a logistical nutrition nightmare. If I left the country my carry-on would be filled with the approved food I could eat. In a nutshell, my eating beliefs and behaviors had become quite unsustainable.
For the first year or so, eating this way DID really felt like it could be sustainable. But looking back now I would do exceptional on a detox then re-tox like a junkie. And that behavior could only be solved by doing another detox, right?
So essentially I was caught up in an abusive restrictive/overeating cycle that I didn’t know how to get out of. There was no peaceful middle ground. I was afraid of eating “bad” food but my behaviors were setting me up to crave it.
The crazy thing is, when you are neck deep in these type of eating patterns, you don’t have the ability to recognize how toxic it is because you truly believe that you are taking better care of your body than 95% of the population.
You do what Meghan Markle, Duchess of Sussex does. You’re strict with your food choices during the week and then let your guard down on the weekends. Sound familiar?
Which is great until it’s not because the weekends eventually become totally destructive and Monday’s can feel like punishment. Complete judgment day. Zero joy.
And don’t forget the about the dialog in your head that can get so incredibly abusive. And shaming. And toxic. Rebecca George (#meangirls) language. Your only recourse is to “get back on track” on Monday in an effort to wipe the slate clean.
Eventually food rules and the restrictive/overeating pattern become so unsustainable that eventually you wake up and realize there has to be a better way to exist. You can’t imagine another month, year, decade of this type of behavior.
For the chronic dieter, hitting repeat on this pattern over and over disconnects from your innate belly wisdom that cues you what, when, how, and how much to eat. You have an intelligence system in your body that is beyond measure. No diet or meal plan can do what your innate wisdom can. The best way to reconnect to that internal food guidance system is through mindful + intuitive eating.
Remember you WERE connected to it and can reconnect to it again to discover true food peace.
In fact, that is one of the reasons I created my 30-Day Mindful Eating Challenge. To reconnect you to your belly wisdom while reframing your beliefs about and around food + your body. It’s too exhausting and takes up way too much brain space to be focusing on all the foods you “should” be eating instead of learning how to adopt an “all foods fit” philosophy.
You’re likely rolling your eyes as you read that. I know I was the SAME. WAY. when I started exploring mindful + intuitive eating. Because after being stuck in diet culture, on diets, off diets, and the abusive and cruel language that floats through the brain of a chronic dieter is toxic and the LAST think you have EVERY experienced is an “all foods fit” philosophy.
Dieting teaches you that you can’t trust yourself around your favorite foods. So how the heck do you make that your reality. But hear me out… you have to ask yourself one question: is that the way you want to live the rest of your life? NOT trusting yourself around food or do you want to work toward this concept of making peace with food and actually living an all foods fit philosophy?
Now we know dieting can set you up for disordered eating behaviors and a very disordered relationship with food. Had I known that back in high school when I had this misconception that I needed to diet, I would have never EVER dieted (ever look back at a picture of yourself and think “what in the WORLD was I thinking?”). Me too.
According to Jennifer Harringer Ph.D., an associate professor of psychology at Pepperdine University who studies the development of weight stigma and disordered eating in children and adolescents, noted “there is strong evidence that dieting at any age, especially in early childhood, can increase the risk of anorexia, bulimia and binge eating later on.”
Parents would benefit by reading that sentence again and think about the language they use around their children when it comes to food.
In fact, over the last 60 years numerous studies have shown that among people who lose weight, more than 90% of them gain it back over the long run. That being said, because the proven way to delete diet/wellness culture beliefs, behaviors, patterns, and thoughts is mindful and intuitive eating – I would propose that people who lost weight and gained it back would significantly decrease if they did it utilizing more mindful and intuitive eating skills. Maybe read that sentence again to see if it makes sense because I’m not an English major. What I’m trying to say is that mindful + intuitive eating is the promise land to food freedom.
BTW: wanting to lose weight is NOT a bad thing, it’s the way in which you go about it. NO different than wanting to make money. You can work and hustle hard, or rob a bank. There are risks and rewards for each choice but one is clearly a better option and more sustainable than the other.
If you are ready to up level your relationship w food, let me help you reconnect to your internal wisdom so you can learn how to nourish + energize your body based on what feels good for YOU! You cant delete food fear with more diet behaviors or following diet plans. It only causes more confusion.
If you want to end your food confusion, food fear, + body struggle, why not fast track your progress? You have to dig deep & ask yourself if you are ready (I mean really ready) because my program is NOT for everyone.
It’s for the peeps who are tired of FOOD taking up so much mental space and negatively impacting their relationship with their body. They are really ready to go and live their best life instead of wasting so much time thinking or obsessing about food all the time.
Been there. Let me help you get a jumpstart on cultivating mindful + intuitive eating skills to reconnect to your inner wisdom during the 30-Day Mindful Eating Challenge or SATI Mindful MasterMind monthly group sessions.
Honestly, I was NOT at the level of health I am today. I had to take small steps with some big ones. I had to be open to look at my current eating behaviors without judgment (that was a challenge), undo the unconscious eating patterns I struggled with (some I adopted from family, friends and others) and then challenge + reframe my beliefs around food. It took time, but I always know I can go back to intentional restrictive or overeating patterns or any other diet behavior at any time I want. No way. I love myself too much!
And that sounds like NO JOY. Let’s get back to joyful eating and appreciating our body, shall we? Lemme teach you how…….
Mindfully yours,
Jennifer
HERE’S WHO THIS PROGRAM IS NOT FOR:
If you have never dieted, never struggled with diet culture {aka “wellness” culture}, have a great relationship with food and your body, have an “all foods fit” philosophy, you usually eat because you are hungry and stop when you are content or pleasantly full and don’t obsess over food or your body – then this program isn’t for you. Oh and BTW congrats on your intuitive skills!